Dead Pool [4]

We have a winner!

The Dead Pool 3 has been won by Dioclese [a-fucking-gain]
who correctly guessed the next cunt to kick the cunting bucket
... therefore becoming a dead cunt.

Here's his winning nomination :

This one could be too easy really -
but while we're on a roll with Libyan bastards,
I nominate the Lockerbie bomber,
Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi.

Well done!
You have successfully defended your title of  Dead Pool Champion.
Two in a row eh ... you're not killing the cunts yerself by any chance?

Right then!
The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick
a new 'dead cunt walking' as we move on to The Dead Pool 4.
No rule changes but in case you're new to the world of
predicting bucket kicking cunts, here's a refresher:

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
One Cunt each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and everyone picks another one,
so my top tip is to be quick off the mark and
steal someone else's dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World's Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion post and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual "Our Blog Our Rules" thing applies.

Phil Parkinson

Phil Parkinson the Bradford City football manager is a cunt of highest order.

He doesn't know his arse from his elbow, he drops players who are in form and brings in his own cunts who aren't up to the job.
He talks a constant stream of bullshit which most people seem to be taken in by but not me.
He's that full of shit one day he's going to burst.

It won't be pretty.

Nominated by Andy U

John and Sally Bercow Bercow

John Bercow the Speaker of the House of Commons along with that cunt of a wife, a pair of cunts better suited to running a massage parlour.

Nominated by Viscount Rectum

Norovirus

Woke up this morning at 3am, rushed in panic to the bog where my sphincter absolutely exploded. However, the contents of my stomach also exploded out of my mouth at the same time, covering my pants, tshirt, toilet floor, hallway carpet and walls with pre digested spaghetti bolognese.

Spent 45 fucking minutes clearing that shit up, only for me to projectile vomit again (in the toilet this time) whilst simultaneously filling my recently changed boxers up with shit.

This has been followed with me sitting on the bog, arse leaking like a boarding house tap, while I continue to heave up the lining of my stomach.

The norovirus truly is a cunt.

Nominated by Hello Shitty

Tube Drivers

I'd like to nominate those lazy tunnel rat cunt tube drivers.

Greedy, lazy good for nothing scroungers.

£850 for working during the Olympics?

Fuck off you greedy cunts.

I along with everyone else will be getting fuck all extra for working during the Olympics.

You greedy, lazy fucking tunnel rat cunts.

Nominated by Bob Geldoffs Wellingtons

Ken Bates

Leeds United Chairman Ken Bates is a tight arsed hotel building bearded cunt.

Nominated by Kim

British Police

I nominate the British Police 'Service'.

On the continent our Gallic cousins pull all the stops out to catch muslim nutter of the month Mohamed Merah and within a few days corner and then quite rightly shoot the cunt dead, saving themselves the expense of a long winded trial and the cost of incarcerating the bacon dodging twat for life.

Meanwhile back in good old Blighty, 5 overweight bobbies completely fuck up the routine arrest of a scumbag product of Blair's Britain and allow themselves to be gnawed on by a small dog!

All the time being filmed on someone's mobile phone. Useless pen pushing, desk jockeying, red tape tying but nick you for doing 31 in 30 zone CUNTS!!!

Nominated by Occams Razor

Fuel Hoarders

All those fucking mong panic buying cunts who have caused mayhem at petrol stations up and down the Country.

What a fucking bunch of useless fucking pricks.

Would not like to see these cunts in a real crisis.

God help us as its now clear that there are hordes of these fuckers out there.

Nominated by The Country is full of idiots

Diane Abbott

I can't believe nobody has suggested Diane 'Hypocrite' cunt Abbott as a cunt of the day. "Vote for me if you hate those nasty whiteys". She'd have been better off just tweeting "dirty white cunts" and said what she meant.

However, I am not saying she's a cunt, and if you think that I am, then you must be obtuse and reading this out of cuntext!

Nominated by Attila the Cun(t) AKA George Galloway

Kate Garraway

Hairy hamster faced Kate Garraway is an early morning cunt, with faux sincerity oozing from every pore. Get your arse off that settee you cunt, go and get a proper job.

Might I suggest Asda checkouts? Or maybe you'd rather be a hairy faced dinner lady? I'm not bothered, just fuck off our screens at breakfast time, makes me sick up a bit of toast.

Nominated by Cuntankerous Hag

QVC

QVC are a right bunch of tat flogging cunts, targeting our vulnerable and impressionable OAPs, disabled and workshy, tempting them to part with their hard earned (!!) pension, DLA, income support etc. Using silver tongued smarm merchants/salespeople to ramble endlessly about how this or that piece of tat is absolutely essential, what incredible value it is, how much you deserve it; think of the thrill when you hear the creak of the gate, the tip tap of the postman's feet as he wends his way up your path, the sheer orgasmic moment as that parcel plops onto your dormat!!!!!! (pause to pant....).

But hurry, stocks are already limited.....there's a 10 minute queue on the phones.....if you don't want to wait you can use Q-Cunt......have your payment method at the ready.....have your credit card ready........QUICK, YOU OLD BAG, WE WANT YOUR FUCKING CARD DETAILS!!!!!!!!.....what's that? Only size 22 left in puce, and I wanted a 12? I'll have it!!! And relax........

Nominated by stressed to fkn haemorrhage point

Sue Barker

Sue Barker. Gushing, stretched leather faced, finding stuff absolutely hilarious when it isnt (especially when its a quip on QoS from that cunt Tufnell or the stupid little fuckwit who played rugby and looks like Paul Daniels).

God she makes me fucking heave.

The worst female cunt on TV since Selena Scott or Anneka Rice.

Bet Cliff never went near her cunt...not because he's a gayer, but because it stunk of tennis racket handle

Nominated by dan

Jonathan Ross [4]

I can't believe that cunt Jonathan Woss is not on here?

 What a total why the fuck do you get paid so much money when you are a fuckin smug talentless speech impedimented shite cunt who has never conducted an even remotely interesting interview cos you need to take centre stage with purile jokes cunt of a cunt... what a cunt

Nominated by Corby the Northerner

Actually he is. Three times already, the cunt.

Prince Charles

In honour of whatever fucking jubilee it is this time I nominate Prince Charles.

Hypercritical, organic, away with the fairies, homeopathic, parasitic, clueless, jug eared, married to a fucking horse, cunt.

Nominated by cuntstable cuntbubble

Al Roker

Al Roker is a talentless affirmative action cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

James McClean

James McClean, new found wonderboy at Sunderland is a contemptible cunt.
Happy to play for Northern Ireland at underage level, and avail of the opportunities to put himself in the shop window, this hateful little bollocks of a cunt gets his break and jumps ship to the Republic of Ireland.
..then abuses the IFA and the NI fans.

Fuck you, McClean, you slimy cunting load of dogshit.

(James in the kit he happily wore before he discovered his new found love for another country.)

Nominated by Jackie F

Ali Disaei [3]

Ali Disaei. Glad this smarmy, lying cunt has been sent back to jail.
They should never have let the cunt out in the first place.
There might be some justice after all.

This time don't let the cunt out

Nominated by Big Al

Keith Martin

I nominate Worlds Fattest Cunt Keith Martin! This total waste of oxygen and nutrition costs you and I £50k a year for round the clock care.

The fat twat weighs in at a rather portly 58 stone and hasn't seen his tiny cock in a decade. Imagine having the onerous task of wiping this blubber mountain's arse crack after he's shat out his healthy breakfast of 8 hotdogs and sorting out his bed sores the size of a dinner plate. They probably us a pressure washer on the fat fucker.

All his over eating he informs us is because he's sad that his parents split up when he was young. Fucking boo hoo! He should get rendered down and the tallow created used to heat OAPs homes this winter!

Nominated by Occams Razor

Sean Penn

I would like to publicly cunt the actor (meh) formerly known as Madonna's leech, Sean Penn. It's seems that Penn has declared himself a staunch ally of El Chupacabra, and is demanding that Britain negotiate the return of the Falklands and South Georgia to Argentina. That will be difficult, since the Args never owned the Falklands in the fucking first place. Though I can't really see what it has to do with this cunt anyway.

The silly cunt couldn't even pronounce the name of the islands correctly, he used 'Malvinas'. He also called Britain 'Colonialist, ludricrous, and archaic'. I assume then that after this outburst, Penn will be calling on Obama to grant Puerto Rico its indepence from American colonialist rule. And Hawaii for that matter. I'd call him a dumb yank, but I happen to be half American, so that's not gonna happen.

Now, Penn's outburst just happens to fall into a category I like to call, 'none of your fucking business'. I very much doubt that this numbnuts will be volunteering to enlist in the Argentinian army (hah) anytime soon, and he certainly won't profit from the FALKLANDS. So my only conclusion is that Penn's outburst is the result of him being a racist cunt. It seems Penn misses having to live inside his former spouses vagina, and has now taken up residence somewhere between El Chupacabra's uterus and cervix. A bit that like that South American fish in the Amazon. And just as much of a parasite.

I've been looking at dipshit's filmography. Apart from Taps and Dead Man Walking, his acting career has been almost universally shite. He even did an episode of Little House on the Prairie for fucks sake! I'd be most grateful therefore, if you could cunt this cunt as soon as possible. Both for being a racist cunt who can't keep his nose out of other people's business, and for having the acting ability of a spoon. Sean Penn, what a cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

Will Sean Penn also be calling for the citizens of The United States Of America to return their cou try to the Native American tribes ? No will he fuck because he's a stupd cunt.

Nominated by Sean Penis more like, the cunt !

I must also second or third or fourth that total cunt Sean Penn.
1. Hes a fucking leech of a cunt
2. Hes a fucking ugly cunt
3. He is clueless about the Falklands cunt
4. Its none of his business so keep your god shut cunt
5. He is American so if 1 country has no room to talk about taking land that is not theirs and enslaving people, invading other contries, impossing its will on others its his ............ the hypocrital cunt

The cunt needs and under cunting

Nominated by The Last Of The Few

Sean Penn is a gormless, ideas well above his station, millionaire communist, thinks people actually care about the constant stream of shit that comes out of his gob cunt.

Nominated by Anonymous

Michael Parkinson [2]

You have got to be shitting me, there are no entries for that other cunt of cunts Michael Parkinson!!

There are not enough expletives or text in the world to adequately describe this cunt suffice to say he is a complete and utter cunt!

Nominated by Harveywankbanger

Actually, he has been nominated before here.
But it's a good nomination again so we'll post it